I was looking through some boxes and came across my old graduate school lab notebook. On the front of the notebook in large letters are the words "Everything You Know Is Wrong." At the top, "Lab Notebook" is crossed out and replaced with "Exercises in Futility." Three underlined quotes are on the cover:
Do you really think this crazy world will get better?
All our potential is wasted on trivial problems.
Fluids is a dead science.
In the inner pages, amongst to do lists, hand-drawn sketches, derivations, and occasional discussion of Poincare mappings and cross correlation, there are several pages of rants. On one page, there is simply an encircled list of quotes, which I have included below for your pleasure:
Religion is a club.
Contradiction is balance.
Civilization is only skin deep.
Guilt is not of God.
Watch more TV.
Everything is bullshit.
The worst thing you can call me is human.
The world is over.
Religion is evil.
Believe the lie.
Stealing from the thieves.
Thought is for suckers.
Science is narcissism.
Work is for fools.
We are out of control.
Human nature is constant.
Money is the cure.
Money is power.
Money controls us all.
Death is the only way out.
Leave me alone.
There is no solution.
I'm not like you.
People cannot accept change.
Stupidity reigns today.
These are the end times.
End game.
Can't you see it's over.
Can't you see we are all doomed.
Why try.
It's no use.
Outside of the list is one final quote:
Depression is a medical term for seeing what's really there. . .
To anyone reading this that is considering graduate work or expending any sort of effort in an attempt to further science, make a difference, or toil for any number of outrageously unworthy causes: Stop now. Save yourself the trouble. Get a drink. And enjoy your life, if it's not too late.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Particle Man
I've been thinking a lot lately about how we get to the places we are. For me, my experience is best likened to Brownian motion of a particle. I am floating around in space, mostly directionless except for the random interactions I have with the people around me. Some of them have high energy and bounce off me, I take some of their momentum. How much energy I take, of course, depends on my mass. I have a very large mass, particularly in regard to motivation. It takes a lot to get me going, especially when other, smaller particles try to push me around. You know the type.
When bombarded by photons I may myself gain energy. The photons could be the reward or satisfaction realized with a job well done or done just unwell enough so as to inspire awe. It really doesn't matter, except that to stay in such an energetic state I require constant illumination.
When particles clump together, they have an increased mass and collective momentum.
Unlike particles we do have free will when necessary, and can abandon or even destroy said group.
Take my last job, for instance. One individual, a high energy particle, formed one of these groups on the basis of doing high quality work. Over time, the group grew from one to as many as five to six particles, crashing through the projects together. Then, we discovered that the original individual had committed personal acts that were unacceptable to the group and secret to his family. He then turned on each individual in the group in a rotating sequence. The first individual to actively leave the group happened to be the one I identified as the "glue" holding the group together.
As I said, my activation energy is high, but when I am activated, I become a force of nature. When I am your friend, you cannot have a better friend. The problem is, you tell your friends everything . . . . and the last thing you want is an enemy that knows your every move and that you in fact depend upon.
Using my particular skills of social disruption, misinformation, and inspiration of rebellion, I methodically destroyed the group from the inside. All the while the original individual thought that I was the pillar of the group. Indeed I was, but not the one he thought. I had made myself so central to the work we were performing that I held the keys to everything. By the time I left, not only did the rest of the group leave the working group, we all left the organization for other work. I have to admit the campaign was brilliant and complete as far as my usual standards go. I left his career in shambles, his reputation destroyed, and all of his work in scattered remnants. I achieved the effectual destruction of all his hopes and dreams of becoming a leader within the organization.
And all it cost me was a 10% raise and a job I like.
Never mess with a particle man. . .
When bombarded by photons I may myself gain energy. The photons could be the reward or satisfaction realized with a job well done or done just unwell enough so as to inspire awe. It really doesn't matter, except that to stay in such an energetic state I require constant illumination.
When particles clump together, they have an increased mass and collective momentum.
Unlike particles we do have free will when necessary, and can abandon or even destroy said group.
Take my last job, for instance. One individual, a high energy particle, formed one of these groups on the basis of doing high quality work. Over time, the group grew from one to as many as five to six particles, crashing through the projects together. Then, we discovered that the original individual had committed personal acts that were unacceptable to the group and secret to his family. He then turned on each individual in the group in a rotating sequence. The first individual to actively leave the group happened to be the one I identified as the "glue" holding the group together.
As I said, my activation energy is high, but when I am activated, I become a force of nature. When I am your friend, you cannot have a better friend. The problem is, you tell your friends everything . . . . and the last thing you want is an enemy that knows your every move and that you in fact depend upon.
Using my particular skills of social disruption, misinformation, and inspiration of rebellion, I methodically destroyed the group from the inside. All the while the original individual thought that I was the pillar of the group. Indeed I was, but not the one he thought. I had made myself so central to the work we were performing that I held the keys to everything. By the time I left, not only did the rest of the group leave the working group, we all left the organization for other work. I have to admit the campaign was brilliant and complete as far as my usual standards go. I left his career in shambles, his reputation destroyed, and all of his work in scattered remnants. I achieved the effectual destruction of all his hopes and dreams of becoming a leader within the organization.
And all it cost me was a 10% raise and a job I like.
Never mess with a particle man. . .