It's 1921 on Sunday. I'm at work. I work for the government. 'Nuff said about that.
Above my monitor is my Despair.com custom calendar. (For those of you unfamiliar with Despair.com, just think of all those motivational posters that people recaption for humorous purposes. Now make a business out of it.) August is, "Insanity - It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane."
It's not the caption that speaks to me. It's the picture. Somebody is basejumping off a waterfall/cliff a couple thousand feet above what looks like a jungle. I'm imagining somewhere on the edge of the Andes. But that's besides the point.
Every so often I cross that mental barrier that keeps most people clinging to the handrail of life. You know, that self-preservation instinct. Yes, the guy in the picture has his parachute as his handrail. When I'm 80' up in a tree with a running chainsaw and crashing logs I'm tied in. But sometimes that doesn't matter. When I'm 80' up and I just unclip to move around a branch. Or when I go down a small road in Sicily at night at crazy speeds and the road takes a sharp left. And I don't. And my first thought is how cool would it be if this was a cliff? And my second thought was I hope the asshole in the backseat gets thrown from the car and dies slowly and painfully.
When you're a kid, it's just not the same thing. Maybe it's because you can't comprehend your own mortality. But during those times when when you come to terms with it, accept it, and even welcome it (and not in a suicidal way), the feeling is truly euphoric and memorable.
This should be a good drive home tonight.
PS - As I was about to hit "Publish Post", my boss walks in and says, "Just shoot me. Just fucking shoot me." Maybe my next post WILL BE on that suicidal way....