Hey, guess what? I'm at work late again. Today the big climate summit is all the news. Well, that and Tiger being a possible sex addict. So it is with great mirth that I read through WWE's post below. Hilarious. Don't expect much from me on this post. I've got nothing worthwhile to write about really. But I wish I did. Or maybe I don't. Who knows anymore? More importantly who cares? But thoughts like that aren't original, are they?

I've been pondering the idea of potential. You see it all the time -- smart, talented, or just lucky people who seem to throw it all away and crash and burn or let the rest of their lives just rot away. They could have done a lot more, but they chose not to. But actually, these "tragic" cases really don't usually turn out that way because of a conscious choice. They turn out that way because the person was weak.

But what of the more subtle folks who have all of that potential with the strength they need, and simply choose not to use it? It's just not worth it to them. Let's face it, the reason the weak ones fail is that living up to all of that potential is hard. It can have huge rewards, or none, but it's not easy. So maybe you can just stifle that potential and slide through life at an enjoyable tempo. Maybe those people are the ones who have it all figured out.

Wait, isn't that a bit selfish of them? These people could go on to lead, to heal, to build, to enlighten. But they keep it to themselves. Do they realize that they're hurting the rest of us? The ones who would be the true beneficiaries of their potential? Or perhaps some of them do realize these truths. And there lies the problem. The only ones that really benefit from their extra efforts are others.

With human civilization one big evolving disaster, some realize that their little drop in the bucket won't change much for the world. But they sure will be giving a lot of themselves to try. Instead, keeping that potential close to home and improving their own little world while they still can might at least make for a pleasant spot from which to watch humanity's death spiral. Then again, maybe they're just smart enough to realize they may not be strong enough.

So here I am, back looking at the clock over my desk. I have some of that potential. Heck, let's me be modest -- I have a lot of that potential. As I move into management and try to fix the problems around me I get nothing but great reviews. And even more opportunities to improve things. I can see my way up an impressive career path. But I'm starting to ask why? This shit sucks. Maybe I can make a big difference some day, but probably not. Politics will probably end up overshadowing anything meaningful.

Meanwhile I have a comfortable income at a secure job. I make more than I need to, why do I need a promotion except to assuage my (not necessarily insignificant) ego? I'm starting to think that I should transfer back to some of the technical work that I was so good at before and enjoyed the most. To hell with realizing my potential. I mean, "Why?"

Duty

When you look at the world, what do you see? Can you justify the current state of our civilization? Can you accept the state of affairs? Do you see any way in which you can affect change?

What I see is rot, filth, disease, suffering, and death. Our human "civilization" has grown out of control to absolute and cannot be sustained. Any rational observer, of which I woefully admit there are precious few, should be able to see that the current state of affairs cannot and should not be maintained. Sadly, any rational observer will also admit that they are powerless to change anything.

To be able to affect change one needs power, and to achieve power you need support from a multitude of followers, or perhaps one large corporation. The problem with gaining the support of followers is that a) most people are not rational and b) the rational people are unlikely to truly want change. A majority of people believe the Bible or Koran or some other monkey shit-stained babble written by people who were still half in the tree. These people don't even trust themselves to know right from wrong, and their minds are already fully controlled by religious zealots, massive media conglomerates, and political pundits. Rational people, as they tend to be more intelligent, are bribed by society a generally higher standard of living and have no real incentive to affect change. The large corporation would stop supporting you immediately if you proposed a change that could negatively affect profit margins.

I've always liked the idea of the voluntary human extinction movement. Within one generation we could bring an end to all this unnecessary suffering that is human existence. This method would probably involve the least suffering, however it is ultimately impracticable unless you could implode the nearest star and bombard Earth with enough radiation to sterilize every human on earth. However, since NASA engineers can't do unit conversions correctly, my hopes for them igniting Jupiter are scattered by the wayside, unless it is by accident.

You see, humans are very good at reproducing, especially the dumb ones. Average I.Q. levels will continuously drop from this day forward. If you think the people around you are idiots now, just wait until their kids take over. There's no end to what they can't do!

Humans really are stupid animals. We will happily march to our ultimate destruction, even if there are ways to avoid it. People will fight common sense just on principle, even when the truth unblinkingly stares them in the face. They won't even move out of the way of a steamroller they own barreling their way if it means admitting they were wrong to buy it in the first place. Hubris is out of control, and the system is so stagnant and self-perpetuating that all reason for hope is truly lost.

Our feeble attempts to curb our pending destruction are laughable. The only way to get back to true sustainability is to have a truly massive die-off of the human race. We need a virus that wipes out 99% of humans. The total destruction of all major cities in every country in an all-out thermonuclear war and subsequent mass starvation could also work. The problem in either case is there would be survivors who would undoubtedly reproduce, build the world back up, and screw things up all over again. I suppose if we burned all the oil first at least they would be unable to secure a power source for industrialization. But why risk it, humans are such crafty swine.

Or, we could simply admit a seemingly simple and obvious fact, that this sad experiment called humanity has passed its useful life and should be immediately and irrevocably terminated.

It's 1921 on Sunday. I'm at work. I work for the government. 'Nuff said about that.

Above my monitor is my Despair.com custom calendar. (For those of you unfamiliar with Despair.com, just think of all those motivational posters that people recaption for humorous purposes. Now make a business out of it.) August is, "Insanity - It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane."

It's not the caption that speaks to me. It's the picture. Somebody is basejumping off a waterfall/cliff a couple thousand feet above what looks like a jungle. I'm imagining somewhere on the edge of the Andes. But that's besides the point.

Every so often I cross that mental barrier that keeps most people clinging to the handrail of life. You know, that self-preservation instinct. Yes, the guy in the picture has his parachute as his handrail. When I'm 80' up in a tree with a running chainsaw and crashing logs I'm tied in. But sometimes that doesn't matter. When I'm 80' up and I just unclip to move around a branch. Or when I go down a small road in Sicily at night at crazy speeds and the road takes a sharp left. And I don't. And my first thought is how cool would it be if this was a cliff? And my second thought was I hope the asshole in the backseat gets thrown from the car and dies slowly and painfully.

When you're a kid, it's just not the same thing. Maybe it's because you can't comprehend your own mortality. But during those times when when you come to terms with it, accept it, and even welcome it (and not in a suicidal way), the feeling is truly euphoric and memorable.

This should be a good drive home tonight.

PS - As I was about to hit "Publish Post", my boss walks in and says, "Just shoot me. Just fucking shoot me." Maybe my next post WILL BE on that suicidal way....

Word of the Day

Here is the word of the day from my inbox:

stultify \STUHL-tuh-fahy\, verb:
1. To render useless or ineffectual; cripple.
2. To cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous.
3. Law To allege or prove insane and so not legally responsible.

But even better was one of the quotes that went with it....

The word "civilization" to my mind is coupled with death. When I use the word, I see civilization as a crippling, thwarting thing, a stultifying thing. For me it was always so. I don't believe in the golden ages, you see... civilization is the arteriosclerosis of culture.
-- Henry Miller

Good Old Days . . .

I was looking through some boxes and came across my old graduate school lab notebook. On the front of the notebook in large letters are the words "Everything You Know Is Wrong." At the top, "Lab Notebook" is crossed out and replaced with "Exercises in Futility." Three underlined quotes are on the cover:

Do you really think this crazy world will get better?

All our potential is wasted on trivial problems.

Fluids is a dead science.

In the inner pages, amongst to do lists, hand-drawn sketches, derivations, and occasional discussion of Poincare mappings and cross correlation, there are several pages of rants. On one page, there is simply an encircled list of quotes, which I have included below for your pleasure:

Religion is a club.
Contradiction is balance.
Civilization is only skin deep.
Guilt is not of God.
Watch more TV.
Everything is bullshit.
The worst thing you can call me is human.
The world is over.
Religion is evil.
Believe the lie.
Stealing from the thieves.
Thought is for suckers.
Science is narcissism.
Work is for fools.
We are out of control.
Human nature is constant.
Money is the cure.
Money is power.
Money controls us all.
Death is the only way out.
Leave me alone.
There is no solution.
I'm not like you.
People cannot accept change.
Stupidity reigns today.
These are the end times.
End game.
Can't you see it's over.
Can't you see we are all doomed.
Why try.
It's no use.

Outside of the list is one final quote:

Depression is a medical term for seeing what's really there. . .

To anyone reading this that is considering graduate work or expending any sort of effort in an attempt to further science, make a difference, or toil for any number of outrageously unworthy causes: Stop now. Save yourself the trouble. Get a drink. And enjoy your life, if it's not too late.

Particle Man

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we get to the places we are. For me, my experience is best likened to Brownian motion of a particle. I am floating around in space, mostly directionless except for the random interactions I have with the people around me. Some of them have high energy and bounce off me, I take some of their momentum. How much energy I take, of course, depends on my mass. I have a very large mass, particularly in regard to motivation. It takes a lot to get me going, especially when other, smaller particles try to push me around. You know the type.

When bombarded by photons I may myself gain energy. The photons could be the reward or satisfaction realized with a job well done or done just unwell enough so as to inspire awe. It really doesn't matter, except that to stay in such an energetic state I require constant illumination.

When particles clump together, they have an increased mass and collective momentum.

Unlike particles we do have free will when necessary, and can abandon or even destroy said group.

Take my last job, for instance. One individual, a high energy particle, formed one of these groups on the basis of doing high quality work. Over time, the group grew from one to as many as five to six particles, crashing through the projects together. Then, we discovered that the original individual had committed personal acts that were unacceptable to the group and secret to his family. He then turned on each individual in the group in a rotating sequence. The first individual to actively leave the group happened to be the one I identified as the "glue" holding the group together.

As I said, my activation energy is high, but when I am activated, I become a force of nature. When I am your friend, you cannot have a better friend. The problem is, you tell your friends everything . . . . and the last thing you want is an enemy that knows your every move and that you in fact depend upon.

Using my particular skills of social disruption, misinformation, and inspiration of rebellion, I methodically destroyed the group from the inside. All the while the original individual thought that I was the pillar of the group. Indeed I was, but not the one he thought. I had made myself so central to the work we were performing that I held the keys to everything. By the time I left, not only did the rest of the group leave the working group, we all left the organization for other work. I have to admit the campaign was brilliant and complete as far as my usual standards go. I left his career in shambles, his reputation destroyed, and all of his work in scattered remnants. I achieved the effectual destruction of all his hopes and dreams of becoming a leader within the organization.

And all it cost me was a 10% raise and a job I like.

Never mess with a particle man. . .

Institutional Hypocrisy

There are various reasons why organized religion is currently the ultimate evil in our society. First and foremost, it is a hypnotic tool that is used to control the unthinking masses. Fundamentalist "holy" men in every religion prey on their subjects' primeval fear of death to create social groups that will listen to anything and everything they say to extend their existence into a mythical afterlife. The herd mentality is a very important piece of this equation. When a group of people gather together and celebrate a shared belief, an instinctual euphoria sets in. This feeling is construed by the peddlers of religion as the presence of god. The believers find themselves lost and happy in a crowd, willing to do anything and everything for their false god. As we see every day, even kill or die for their beliefs. They will do this without question, never realizing that the beliefs were never their own. They were merely cattle, programmed by a self-perpetuating class of religious zealots, and sent to the slaughter.

I have experienced institutionalized religious perpetuation my entire life. I grew up in the Bible belt, the breadbasket of the evangelical Christian nation. I went to church until I was 18, went to evangelical camps in the summer and witnessed the transformation of the "born-agains." I have to say that to this day nothing frightens me more than a born-again Christian. There is a vacancy behind their eyes and a well-veiled threat behind their conversion efforts that I imagine identical to German Nazis in 1939. If you have ever been to one of their functions, I warn you it will be a harrowing experience to the thoughtful mind. Their practices are reminiscent of a stereotypical cult, complete with mindless chanting and speeches by the beloved leader. Of course this defect is not unique to the Christian religion. All over the world, people are packing synaguogues, mosques, and churches every "holy" day, partaking in their mass hypnosis, forfeiting their minds to religion, and perpetuating holy wars that have raged since the beginning of time.

And the greatest irony is that the followers of all major religions despise each other. The texts of all the monotheistic religions advocate tolerance, abhor violence, and even describe identical gods. The first commandment of them all is "thou shall not kill." Even so, Christians, Muslims, and Jews are at the center of blood-letting that has lasted millenia. Modern fundamentalist religions have honed their hatred of all other faiths to an art form. In the Middle East, a number of youths far above the statistical norm for modern civilizations are willing to strap explosives to themselves and pursue a mythical afterlife by murdering people who don't believe their book. In America, the grand old party has fused thinly-veiled racism and "family values" to try and institutionalize the denial of rights to anyone they view as displaying non-Christian values. And they have the gall to call anyone who disagrees with them "immoral." Lets not forget that Christians and Muslims, who worship the same god, fought savagely in the dark ages over a scrap of land that was deemed "holy." It seems they have been at this a long time. In all this time, has no one really caught on to the hypocrisy of it all? Oh yeah, the agnostics and the atheists figured it out a long time ago.

The real danger is the damage that religion causes. Of course there are the countless lives that have been sacrificed uselessly in the name of religion. Most religions consider it an honor to die a martyr, perfectly willing to kill off as many sheep as necessary to inspire the next generation of dimwits. But the real problem is the control that religion allows those who lead worship over their followers. A whole group of people willing to do whatever one man says is always a bad idea. But more importantly, religion gives dumb people a really easy way out of thinking. If anyone takes an honest look, the evil of religion is readily apparent. And yet people constantly and relentlessly devote themselves to a set of illogical belief systems that hamper their minds and convince them to lead their entire lives guided by the whims of other men. They are the perfect constituents, hard-working, brain-washed morons who accept everything you say and will freely give you their earnings, even their lives if necessary. In the end they will give their life, believing to the end that the afterlife awaits, as you steal the last of their money on the medical treatments that give them one more month of time.

My last danger stems from a rather frightening trend I have noticed in fundamentalist Christian culture. They have become Armageddon worshippers, rejoicing and looking forward to the ultimate rapture. They don't care, or even welcome the ultimate doom of the human race. This has far reaching implications, from the outright advocacy of nuclear war to total indifference to global warming. And since it is ingeniously imbedded in their belief system, you can never change them. They will march happily to the ultimate doom of humanity, assuming that they are prepared for eternity.

Religion is nothing more or less than the subjugation of your will to a set of rules and beliefs designed to rob you of your identity, control your actions, and destroy the core of your humanity.

Death and the Afterlife

This is what I titled the last post, but my "intro" got long on my views of religion, and so I changed the title and made it a separate post. I recommend reading that first.

So it should be clear now that I have a problem with organized religion. I'm coming to the conclusion that while Jesus might have existed, he was just a man. There is still a tug in the back of my mind from my upbringing. The part that wants the comfort of believing. So now I'm closer to Judaism? I can't say, I don't know shit about the Jews.

What about the afterlife? Why would god want to give us this teeny little bit of time earth as a mortal, then send us off to an afterlife for eternity? If I was in that role, Why would I care? The whole universe is at my command? These billions of teeny little organisms on one measly little planet? That exist for what would be a second to me? Yeah right. Afterlife seems a bit unlikely.

The idea of reincarnation seems more likely to me than that. The earth is just recycling souls, or the chaos from which souls are created to continue the cycle of life.

So for myself, I've pretty much ruled out the concept of Heaven and Hell. I'm enjoying the train of thought that is taking me down the reincarnation path. But if I had to place a bet? I'd bet we die and that's it.

And that is a comforting thought, isn't it? Well, it is for me. Lights out. No eternal punishment for things you did or didn't do in life. No watching those you left behind suffer and struggle. No eternal boredom. You're just gone, like the bug that hit my windshield this morning.

You still have the human instinct to stay alive. And most likely you still have some things worth living for. But there is no reason to fear death. And heck, if you believe in reincarnation, why not look forward to death as the gateway to an exciting new chapter?

As I get closer and more comfortable with this view, I also get more comfortable toying with death. Tree climbing is a good example. In fact my recent uptick in this kind of philosophical pursuits can be tied to when I really got obsessed with tree climbing. Not that I don't take precautions, but risks are part of the fun. You get past your fear of death while looking down and realizing that one misstep, broken branch, severed rope, or other screw-up will plummet you to instant death. It's a euphoric feeling.

So what's the purpose of life then? I'm still working on it, but I think it's whatever you make of it. For me it's to enjoy life. Part of that enjoyment is to leave my mark. ('Course, if I die falling out of a tree, this could be quite literal.) I know in time the mark I've made will fade. But if the mark is big enough and deep enough, it will take longer to fade. And I may never make a mark that lives longer than my children. But I want to enjoy trying.

So I don't believe in religion or an afterlife. There is no fear of death, in fact I could see how it will be welcomed at some point. So then what dominates my ethics and morals? Enjoyment of life again I guess. Where laws are concerned, I obey them to the point of enjoyment. Huh? In other words, the risks vs rewards thing. If there is a high risk of being caught and/or a severe punishment, the unenjoyable aspects would outweigh the enjoyment of the infraction. Which leaves open the door for enjoyable things that have little or no risk of being caught or severely punished....

Where laws don't dominate the decision, there are usually other people involved. In this respect I would say caring for others is a weakness. But I suppose the instinct comes back to the herd survival thing. I can't get rid of it, and therefore some of my enjoyment is tied to that of the ones I care about. Even if I can get away with it, if it hurts someone in that group, the benefit is diminished or gone. Conversely, things that benefit only someone else can yield enjoyment through empathy.

I think I hear a tree calling my name.

Religion and Society

I was baptized and brought up going to church as a young child with my grandma. But as I got older, I didn't have to go anymore, my mom was dead and my dad not really into it. I came to believe in organized religion as a way to influence and control the masses of idiots in the world. If I want to talk with god, why the fuck do I need the church to do so? If he/she/it is omnificent, why can't can't god just hear my thoughts? Most of what's in the bible, koran, etc is just man's interpretation/imagination of history, twisted to each reteller's purpose. To hell with that, quite literally. Well, if you believe in hell....

But the church does give some people a place to donate their money and time, and it can be argued that it has helped to keep society out of complete anarchy over the centuries. As civilization grew, there needed to be a way to keep people in line -- for the greater good of course. What's best for me is to take what I can get away with, etc, etc. The rule of law and government is only so much of a deterent and can't be everywhere all of the time. But if everyone held the belief that they would be held accountable at the end of their mortal life for all of their sins, even ones no one knew about? That might help fill in some the gaps and keep people "moral", which of course is what is best for society and the people at the top.

What about the people at the top? Well, the truly devote and deluded rarely made it to the top. They were eaten along the way, just think of the Darwin sticker eating the little Jesus fish. The religious figureheads throughout history and even today are often found mired in scandal. The rest most likely were smart enough to hide it better. They were/are at the top of the pyramid. Everyone looked up to them, and the money and power was theirs to control. All they had to do was keep the illusion alive. Threaten people with their salvation in the afterlife. Hanging eternal damnation over someone's head? If they believe you, that's power....

And then there are the natural human instincts. The biggest in my opinion is survival. And what says survival more than security and familiarity? For the most part we don't like change. We don't like things (including people, religions, etc) that are different. We are secure and comfortable when we are surrounded by people like ourselves. Religion becomes a tool and a weapon to help ensure this, especially looking back through history. (Although you can still see it, just look at the news stories coming from tribal Pakistan.) You don't follow the religion, you're punished by your peers. It keeps the herd of sheep together, which is what the majority is most comfortable with. Talk about your perfect situation to generate an autocracy. Get to the top, make new rules, and those below you will punish any of their fellows who stand against you. This is why religions last longer than governments. Combine that with our desire for easy answers to the unexplainable, and it is no wonder every civilization has some sort of religion behind it. Historically, the bigger the civilization, the bigger the religion.

But what about Western culture here the 21st century? We've gotten a bit nonsecular, haven't we? Science has helped to explain the previously unexplainable. It's shown some deficiencies in the religious explantions and accounts? Those who still "cling" to their religion lament about the decline of it. (BTW, best line Obama ever uttered in my mind.) Eastern culture sees what's happening and tries harder to hold on to their own power, but it seems to be disintegrating. But without religion, what basis does the average person have for morality? Suddenly people are less concerned about the afterlife. The church loses power. Governments fundamentally shift. I'm concerned with what's best for me. Stuff I want or think I deserve but haven't earned? No problem, if I can find a way to get it without being caught it's mine. The strong and savy start to prey on the weak, dumb, and innocent.

That's what we're approaching as I type. Chaos. Anarchy. So what happens next? Here is my prediction: Modern civilization implodes. Just like the Roman empire, kaboom. Disintegrates might be a better description since it will take time. Then what happens? People start looking for security again. Religion is again found. Maybe a new one? Maybe an existing one becomes more powerful? It's a cycle. How far back will the cycle reach? Depends I guess. Throw in a nuclear holocaust, and it could go back a long, long way. Scientists are likely to again be hunted as witches and executed. Religion will once again be used as a weapon to eliminate competition and hold onto power.

Essence of Being

There is a current, flowing among us all. It gets stronger and weaker like a dance in some estranged and indescribable play, as if it were an opera performed in a language no human can understand. We are weak, always searching for answers. Some of us find them in houses of god. Some of us find them in riches. Some of us never find what we have been looking for our entire lives.

What is the reason. Why. How.

In brief moments of clarity you wonder, is this it? Is this why I am here? No answer. Back to the norm, the usual.

You find a distraction. Your work, your favorite shows, your booze. Too much time away or with any of your comforts brings the whole question back with a razor's edge.

You start to fear that it is why you are here. Ponder the possibilities and probabilities involved and you can't fathom how that could be. If you linger too long it will drive you insane. Lost in the abyss.

The madness around you, the people marching to their inner drums, you don't know what makes them tick. People smashing themselves against the rocks, again and again. Others dying all too young. Even though some try to explain it makes no sense.

The fire inside you builds. You feel sometimes that your rage could boil over and burst, take you on an epic trail of revenge and destruction. The nonexistent gods would marvel at your cunning.

But the darkness still holds. That knawing feeling that somehow you can never see but is always there, whispering to you in the night. Your fear turns to despair, in the brief moment that you realize there is no reason you are here. No reason behind anything you have seen or witnessed.

It is the chasm which you must face, you who reach this far. If you stay you will be consumed, destroyed by the reality that quickens behind you and shadows your every move. You must throw yourself off the edge, embrace the sweet fall as your hopes and dreams and silly preconceptions of self-worth and meaningfulness flail useless behind you.

As you fall faster and faster, finally reaching terminal velocity, the loss of acceleration gives you comfort. You have reached a stasis, falling as fast as man can. And in that moment you find peace. You can let go of everything that has been and ever will be, and find the core of your existence. In the hurricane you have found the eye.

And finally in the face of all the darkness around you and the solid ground you know you will ultimately hit, a smile crosses your face.

You feel alive again. For a while.

World Without End?

Just something I wrote when I couldn't sleep the other night. It was a night similar to this one in fact . . . .

What has brought on the development of this emergency action plan is the increasingly likely event of a major man-made catastrophe in or around the Washington D.C. metro area. The fact is that the world around us is spiraling toward complete destabilization. Economic factors are the most recent and disturbing contributors to the destabilization of the world. The elections, while an admitted and necessary distraction for the public, I fear will produce no real difference in the operation of our country. In one case, a man will be elected that will use even more extensive force to ensure the dominance of the U.S. in the world theatre, ironically spinning more and more countries against us and making the fight an even more uphill battle. In the other case, the elected man will most likely be eliminated by either psychotic constituents or the power elite, either way his demise would be used as an excuse for further aggression against an assuredly under-defined enemy. In any of these scenarios coupled with a continuing financial meltdown in the only remaining superpower, other countries may choose to exploit perceived weaknesses. In an even worse case we may use force to pre-emptively strike other nations to prevent the perception of said weakness, inviting coalitions to form against us and solidifying the danger of the use of weapons of mass destruction on both sides of the conflict.

In any case, I believe that this may be the most dangerous time we have encountered in our history. The Cold War was notably an extremely dangerous time, but both superpowers recognized that if war occurred, mutually assured destruction would inevitably result. The Soviet Union didn't require the quality hardware that the United States possessed. In fact there were sufficient nuclear weapons available on both sides to end humanity by simply blowing them up in place, no launch required, and the nuclear winter would take care of the rest of humanity at a slow but steady pace. The fact is that the world now has one superpower, and it is becoming less understanding of the dominance of one nation over all. Granted, the power elite around the world have a lot invested in the United States, but that becomes less a motivator when the dollar crashes and the assets they bought in the United States vaporize as the economy grows weaker and weaker. And so it goes, we all as the human race march to our inevitable doom, because at our very core we are insatiably greedy and despicable creatures.

But I, for one, plan to survive as long as possible. Just because humanity is some macabre failed experiment concocted by Mother Nature doesn't mean I want to personally go the way of the dinosaurs. The fall of mankind is likely to be a long and drawn out affair, with possibly millions to a billion being wiped out all at once with the rest limping on for a while. So I'm starting this log first as an emergency action plan and second as a document detailing my lifelong obsession with surviving nuclear holocaust. I've been thinking about this a long time, and I wanted to get as much information as possible to increase the survival probabilities of myself and my family. So, without further rambling . . .

The Situation

For now, I will simply assume a situation and try to ascertain the relevant effects and correct actions for that situation. Since Soviet MIRV warheads have a range of power ranging from 500 to 750 kilotons (http://www.cdi.org/nuclear/database/nukestab.html), I will assume the case of 500 kilotons ground burst, since if an air burst occurs at this magnitude or above the pooch is pretty much screwed. I plugged this into the HYDESim blast effect calculator (http://meyerweb.com/eric/tools/gmap/hydesim.html) and came up with the following blast radii. It even afforded me a google maps destructogram. So outside the beltway we're all good, except for all of our windows being shattered and subsequently crapping a brick when we awake to see a gigantic mushroom cloud over what used to be a pretty cool place to hang out. Plus our city friends have been either vaporized or crushed by the barometric pressure, the lucky bastards.

15 psi:	1.25 miles
5 psi:	2.3 miles
2 psi:	4.03 miles
1 psi:	5.94 miles
0.25 psi:	15.24 miles
0.1 psi:	31.22 miles

Overpressure Key

15 psi	Complete destruction of reinforced concrete structures, such as skyscrapers, will occur within this ring. Between 7 psi and 15 psi, there will be severe to total damage to these types of structures.
5 psi	Complete destruction of ordinary houses, and moderate to severe damage to reinforced concrete structures, will occur within this ring.
2 psi	Severe damage to ordinary houses, and light to moderate damage to reinforced concrete structures, will occur within this ring.
1 psi	Light damage to all structures, and light to moderate damage to ordinary houses, will occur within this ring.
0.25 psi	Most glass surfaces, such as windows, will shatter within this ring, some with enough force to cause injury.

If you live through the first part, on comes the fun of radioactive fallout, which the effects can be calculated for varying wind speed and direction at http://www.fas.org/programs/ssp/nukes/nuclear_weapon_effects/falloutcalc.html. Using 15 mph winds headed straight for Baltimore from Washington D.C. and the 500 kt blast, here are the results for contours of 1, 25, and 300 REM given by the simulator.

Based on the following table, obtained from http://www.atomicarchive.com/Effects/radeffectstable.shtml, as long as you're not in the smallest contour, you'll be ok. At least for now. If you are there, you're toast but most likely have been either incinerated or crushed by flying debris or the building imploding on your hapless corpse.

Effects of Radiation Levels on the Human Body

Dose-rem	Effects
5-20	Possible late effects; possible chromosomal damage.
20-100	Temporary reduction in white blood cells.
100-200	Mild radiation sickness within a few hours: vomiting, diarrhea, fatigue; reduction in resistance to infection.
200-300	Serious radiation sickness effects as in 100-200 rem and hemorrhage; exposure is a Lethal Dose to 10-35% of the population after 30 days (LD 10-35/30).
300-400	Serious radiation sickness; also marrow and intestine destruction; LD 50-70/30.
400-1000	Acute illness, early death; LD 60-95/30.
1000-5000	Acute illness, early death in days; LD 100/10.

So, we've survived the initial blast, moved all our supplies and weaponry into the basement, and sealed off as much of the basement and house as possible with plastic sheeting and duct tape. A layer of plastic was also installed in the attic before any fallout could accumulate. Wind direction was monitored to ensure that the house is not directly downwind from the initial explosion, and that the wind does not change for the worse. If wind is favorable, stay put, but if it changes, it's time to stick your neck out . . . . big time.


If the wind is coming directly for you from the point of impact, evacuate the area immediately. Use any motorized vehicle to get as far as possible from the projected path of the radiation. If necessary, use bicycles or motorcycles to get to the C&O canal and keep going as long as possible. Carry enough supplies and ammunition for protection and four days of travel. Ration all available resources. If possible find a way to a refugee encampment. If no federal encampments have been made then find your way to nearest relatives or friends well outside of the blast zone. If necessary, and with any information necessary, make contact with relatives at homes still intact and well outside of the blast and fallout zones.

Supplies needed:

The cornerstone of any survival package is equipment and supplies. The necessary equipment will vary depending on the situation on the ground. First, we consider what we would need if we decide to ride it out in the basement or another suitable fallout shelter. The stay will be of a significant duration, perhaps weeks, and should provide all of the necessary supplies for protection and immediate evacuation if necessary.

Food: 2000 calories for 21 days + 3000 calories / day for 4 days emergency evacuation supplies, preferably concentrated
Water: 2 gallons per day for 21 days + 2 liters / day for 4 days emergency evacuation supplies. Portable water treatment filter.
First Aid: Medical first aid kit, iodine capsules to last for 21 days, sterilization alcohol, sewing kit.
Ammunition: 250 rounds handgun, 100 rounds shotgun, 100 rounds rifle + 100 rounds HG, 50 rounds SG, and 50 rounds rifle for evacuation.
Shelter: tent and sleeping bags for evacuation if necessary.
Transport: 2X bicycles for emergency evacuation if motorcycle is not available. If motorcycle is available, ride two people on bike with extra fuel can, supplies in storage bags and backpack on passenger. Both passengers should be armed at all times with similar weapons. Long range weapons should be stowed but easily accessed if necessary. Use routes that are nonconventional and unlikely. Try to stay out of path of projected fallout with best information available. After danger zone is cleared, move only at night if on bike or foot to avoid contact with nonfriendly units.
Communication: 5 mile walkie talkies at all homes of family members. Set a common signal station to ensure ability to contact family members. Radio for government updates and information. All electronics should be kept in a hardened container (metal box enclosing all electronics) such as safe to minimize effects of EMP pulse. Hand actuated recharger for batteries is a must, plus extra stores of current non-rechargeable batteries for all equipment.

Of course if you don't want to go through all the trouble, you only need one round. I recommend the soft point .30-06 for giving your ceiling a fresh paint job.